The term “narcissist” has become synonymous with evil. But being with a narcissistic person can help you expand your spiritual self and learn valuable lessons in life leading to a better and stronger version of yourself.
Is a narcissistic person pure evil?
Narcissists are EVIL!!! That’s what we’ve been told. If you have encountered a narcissist in your life, whether a parent, a partner or a coworker, then you have a pretty good idea about how evil-intentioned and dangerous they can be. What we need to realize is that narcissism is a personality disorder that requires medical treatment and support. Author Melissa Schenker writes “It’s a current national pastime to bash narcissists. They are easy targets. Despite their intense need for approval, those in the public eye can’t help but mostly be seen in a negative light.” If you have lived with a narcissist, you know how they abuse and torment their victims to boost their feeble egos and self-esteem. Being in a relationship with a toxic narcissist can feel like going through hell. Cognitive scientist Art Markman, Ph.D. explains “Narcissists are people who maintain their self-esteem by drawing on the energy of other people.”
But we must understand that a narcissistic person is suffering from a diagnosable mental condition known as a narcissistic personality disorder. Although that doesn’t give them the permission to abuse you, it should help you understand why a narcissist behaves the way they do. It should help you understand that they may not be as evil as they are typically portrayed as. But don’t get me wrong. This is not about promoting narcissism or abuse. The point is, there is some silver lining even when it comes to narcissists. The truth is with understanding comes awareness. “We may love to hate narcissists, but the fact is that we need to do better. We need to understand narcissists. Because we need to take care of ourselves,” adds Melissa Schenker.
Not tormentor, but mentor
Although it may be very difficult to grasp, there is a reason why that narcissistic person is in your life. They are here to guide you, to teach you some hard lessons that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise. They are here to push you to the extreme and empower you to explore a side of your inner self that you never even knew existed. There here to help you become a stronger, better and version of yourself. We tend to attract what we need the most. And what we need the most is inner healing. We need to grow spiritually as a human being; to explore what we are truly capable of; to know how we can help ourselves and others. And a narcissist can (unintentionally) help you a great deal in your spiritual journey to be a better individual. They can help you become a more compassionate, mindful, resilient and a happier person.
So instead of being a victim of a narcissist, choose to be a student. Shift your mindset and see them as a life coach, a teacher or a mentor instead of an abuser. When you see yourself as a student, your awareness will start to expand. Melissa Schenker adds “You’ll come to understand that a narcissist has a way of being that is different from yours, and you’ll find ways to interact or create distance that work for you, rather than exhaust you or put you at risk. At some point, you’ll find that you’re done with that class.”
Spiritual lessons from a narcissistic person
Is this a joke? Not at all. You must be still wondering how exactly a narcissistic person can help you in your spiritual development. A NARCISSIST? Yes, a narcissist. Once you see yourself as a student, you will learn these following spiritual lessons from the toxic, abusive narcissist in your life:
#1. Lesson: The importance of setting boundaries
Let’s face it, most of us have poor personal boundaries. This is one of the main reasons why a narcissistic person finds it so easy to dominate our lives. Whether we want to please or accommodate others or tend to feel shy or emotionally sensitive, we fail to establish clear boundaries to protect our mental, emotional and physical well being. And that serves as an open invitation to our teacher – the narcissist. They simply do not care about your weak boundaries and walk all over them. Clinical psychologist and author Karen Nimmo explains “Narcissists don’t ‘get’ boundaries. They don’t respect your need for personal time and space because their primary driver is for you to validate THEM. They don’t want you to enjoy time with other people who matter to you.”